What's wrong with... our fantasies??

"You ready?
Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, oh no no"
- Beyonce, "Crazy in Love"


I won't talk about the movie. Well let's say that if you're curious about it (and you didn't watch it - which seems hard these days) you can check the IMDB page and I'll tell you one thing on my side: I find its note of 4.2 really better than I thought myself so frankly in few words: don't even spend time watching it...

The movie is one thing; and honestly it wouldn't be the first time that Hollywood ruins completely a huge book (in a sense where the book is fantastic and the movie is just poor emotionally speaking).

No I wanna talk about the story itself here. This is consequently related to the book itself (I should put an 's' in fact); written by E L James. I was very angry first but then I read a bit about her; and I watched this interview below and at the end of the day I thought 'well the woman isn't bad or cruel; and I mean she's a writer; after all she (only) writes stories; that's cool in some ways'. So let's be light first and celebrate life right!


BUT... I'm angry (a bit; still). I mean what's fuckin' wrong with us? We're in 2000 and our fantasies are about: being protected!! Like 'oh a new car; oh let's have a tour w/ the helicopter; oh and the glider too; cool restaurant; wow what's a modern-design-penthouse; you're so rich; the world is yours and so fuckin' on...

Yep it makes me angry. Do you know why? Because as an artist and especially as a teenager-target one; you actually have the responsibility to shape the dreams and the fantasies of an entire new generation. And what are these dreams here? Let's have a fuckin' ton of money to buy this and that. And if you have not... well... shame on you!

So congrats! This way 90% of the people outside consider themselves unhappy cause they think that happiness is directly correlated to their wealth.

I've a challenge for you artists out there. Please try to 'paint' for once the perfect; the huge; the awesome; the erotic-pornographic one; romance of 2 'simple' peeps; not the poor and the rich too please; just the simple ones; and the challenge is: make us all dream about that story; w/o stars cars planes champagne you name it. Simple, in a sense I'd say: light; as life should be.

Primitive writings #2

"I'm the 7 in the center of the sun, I keep shining
My inner light would turn my baby's tear drop to small diamond"
- Wu-Tang Clan, "Sunlight"


March something. I don't know. I'm sure we are on a Saturday cause we had to leave our room from the hostel this morning but I don't have a clue which date it is. Let's check it out; ok we're March 7th apparently. Sunny day here in Berlin; which is good; especially since we arrived cause we probably didn't have that much of a chance; everyday was cloudy. Anyway today is good. First thing that crossed my mind now when I wake up and discover a blue sky is: let's go skate today!

Bad luck today because I've to visit a flat at 4:30p in another neighborhood. Argh worst timing possible in a day if I wanted to skate. I can't go before or I'll be pretty sweat and broken for the visit (which is not the best tactic possible if  I want the flat); and I can't go after cause at the time I'll be back at the (other) hostel to grab my skate sunset will be there. Bad organization. I've to pay more attention next time. Well funny thing is I start to use more and more the weather app of my phone. I've never used it before. Well in Spore it was easy: hot, humid, maybe it'll rain (ie in this case don't be under it or you'll be completely and entirely wet) but no worries it won't last. Then LA: even easier cause it's a blue sky and a mega sunlight everyday. Perfect for skateboarding and no need to plan your session according to the weather. In fact the beauty is: you don't give a thing to the weather at all. Really different here. I start to check frenetically the weather app several times a day; and I check the entire week to come! I'll get used to it I hope. Well the good news is: we're in March so the weather could only be better and better. And I'm never too far from LA neither.

Interesting cause it's noon and some peeps in my team have a visit planned at noon. From where I sit I can see them. They're waiting in front of the entry door of the building. We arrived together actually and it was 11:30a. Haha they wait there in front of the door from half an hour! Strange behavior for me. I hate waiting first (probably like everyone else). But the second thing is: if you visit a flat in a new city and you arrived 30min in advance; take the opportunity to walk around and discover your possible future neighborhood. Look at the people, walk, enter into shops, order a coffee etc. Especially since on my mind the location is worth more than half when I judge an apartment. Anyway; their style; their flat so I don't care; it's just a funny situation from my point of view.

I'm sit down at a terrace of cool kinda coffee. I say 'kinda' cause it's not a coffee shop per se. It's more like a mix b/w a tiny bio-supermarket and a bio-restaurant. I think the flowers shop just next to it is owned by them too. So the atmosphere is cool. I ordered a bio juice pretty original and apparently it's locally sourced (and it's super good!). I've to ask the brand. But the context is beautiful. Nice terrace w/ wood tables and chairs, a lot of flowers, crates, some straw... The atmosphere is b/w a farm and your beautiful garden. It doesn't look like super original for Berlin in fact. I've the feeling that I've seen other places like this one in the city. But for sure I haven't seen a lot them somewhere else.

In Paris, London, LA, Spore, Barcelona... the type of coffee shops where people meet and tend to like are way more hipster-like. Funny cause you start to see those type of coffee shops everywhere around the world and... they all look the same! You have a lot of them of course here; but I've also seen stuff like that in more exotic cities like Bangkok, Jakarta, Mexico, Oaxaca...
Well they're a bit right for sure when they say that city centers around the world tend to all look the same; with the same coffee chains (welcome Starbuck); fastfoods (welcome McDonald, Burger King and cie.); hipster-like shops; fashion brands (welcome Levis, Zara, H&M and cie... + their luxury part w/ Louis Vuitton, Hermes, Dior and so on). Which unfortunately leads to the same people.

My friends got into the building and I've just seen them on the balcony at the top. Hmm the flat seems good; well, high at least, and big cause I've seen them on two different balconies. I hope it's good inside. I look forward to listening to them about it.

It's a beautiful day.

Primitive writings #1

"Bitch, bring Softpacks oder Shisha
Chille mit' ner Messe-Hostess von der IFA"
- Shindy, "Nikotin & Alkohol"

March 5th. I'm in Berlin. I finally found a shisha bar. I don't know its name oh yep Marrakech I think but written in a german way it should be 'Marrakesch'. I like the oriental atmosphere; the smell especially. It reminds me the one I used to go (hell a lot!) when I lived in Paris 9th district. I always liked shisha bars; 'lounge' as they say; I don't know why they put that word 'lounge' everywhere; it's funny. It's probably due to the sofa all around; maybe because it's kinda bars where you just lay down on the sofa in this sort of way where you're half sleeping half dreaming. It's not hard wood chairs where you have to sit straight. 

Anyway the 'Apfel' shisha I ordered is good. I have my fresh mint tea but it's too hot to be drunk. I never succeed to drink too hot beverages I've to wait. So I'm thinking and dreaming mostly; look outside too. I picked up the sit near the large window in order to contemplate the street outside. I always loved contemplate people going through their lives like this. It's night already cause it's 7:15p here. It's raining; something common for a place like Berlin at this period of the year as far as I understood it. People are funny outside; they seem to be in a rush; there are a lot of traffic jam; probably due to the time; peeps leave work and go back home massively I guess. I don't speak german yet so I dont understand the words in front of me like 'Feinkost' 'Reinigung Reinigung' 'Bucher'; well I know Bucher in fact; it means Books. I love bookstores I've to go there at the end of the week (we're Wednesday, well, I think).

Weird I'm not sure which day we are in. We work all the time so I'm pretty lost in the week. And we don't sleep that much nowadays so the schedule in the day is a bit special; I didn't have lunch per se and I'm not hungry for a dinner. Anyway I also think that smoking make me loose the appetite. I've to keep that in mind; being more tactic regarding the time I smoke and the time I've to go out to eat. Hmm I've to ask this 'lounge' bar when they close too. I'm alone. (nb: it's 4:42a and I checked; we're b/w thursday and friday; well technically we're Friday super early)

Peeps in my team don't like shisha apparently; they don't smoke also. They're probably right. I came with my current book consequently. I used to read one book a week back in the great old days; probably succeed to keep that pace for years; I'm particularly proud of this timing during my time in Spore. I'm reading a Bret Easton Ellis book named Lunar Park; in french unfortunately. It was a gift for my GF but she doesn't like it. Well funny enough she didn't give it a try yet so she only supposes she doesn't like it; I've to force her to try at least.

On my side it's the third book I read from that author. I discovered him when I was in school and read 'Moins que zero' in french... dont know the title in english; oh here it is: Less than Zero; I felt in love at first sight; then I instantly bought the second one named Imperial Bedrooms. And bang; another love. I didn't know LA at that time but I thought about those books a lot when I was there last year. I love that city; it's completely different from what I know but I love it. Interesting fact is that I spend most of the year 2014 there and... I don't have my driving licence; yep it means that (a) you can enjoy that city w/o a car and (b) you can even live it w/o a car. Most people don't think it's possible. The thing in my case is that I love cycling so it didn't bother me to ride for an hour to go somewhere. And when you go out at night Uber is the perfect friend there; reliable pretty cheap (I mean compared to cabs elsewhere) and the experience is pretty good so at the end of the day I'm not convinced a car is absolutely necessary in LA.

Well back in Berlin; back to this 'Marrakesch' 'lounge' bar. It's funny cause they're a lot of peeps around me who seem to come from arabic country but they speak german b/w each other. I guess it's normal but still it's funny to notice. As a french guy who lived in Asia and the US I didn't get used to that mix. In this type of environment I truly and sincerely love our world. So many places, people, languages and everyone live among each other; I'm optimistic in this kinda atmosphere. It makes me think humans are great.
Argh I hate typing on my phone, it's horrible, I make a lot of typo. Note for later: bring your laptop to write! Especially since writing is one of my goal for this year 2015; I already wrote about that.

Haha cool; the guy next to me starts to sing in arabic. I love that sound; that music; wave! I've really the feeling to be somewhere else now. It's still common life outside. Oh I'm impressed for few days w/ one thing here: there are a lot of bikes despite the weather, this freaking cold weather I should say. It's like more than a hundred bikes which passed by in front of me since I started typing this (ie 10min. max right). 

I see 5 cars packed in front of me. In that order: BMW, BMW, Mercedes, Mercedes, Audi. Welcome in Germany!

Yippee my tea is getting colder so I can start drinking it. It's good; it doesn't taste like real traditional one tho but still, it's pleasant. Let's enjoy it and go back to the book. Oh I have to ask for new charcoail.

Money buys most of us!

"It's all about the motherfucking money
It's all about the motherfucking money
It's all about the motherfucking money
It's all about the motherfucking money"
- Troy Ave, "All About The Money"


A while ago I was in a discussion w/ some peeps and we talked about the elections in Mexico. I don't know well this country so I was curious. Some people were outraged by the fact that 'honest' elections don't exist there (at least nowadays apparently) and that people accepted money to vote for a specific candidate. At that time they reacted like 'can you imagine that this people have been bought w/ money to do such a thing'. Well in this context 'such a thing' is to vote.

© Steven Gagnon

I'm always fascinated by one thing: how fast and easy we notice and consequently criticize some behaviors and/or ideas and/or you name it in other people but not in ourselves (we don't even see them in ourselves).

The thing here for me isn't the election in Mexico and if yes or not it's scandalous that some mexican peeps accept money to vote for X or Y; no the thing is: actually how money make everyone do anything. And sometimes (most of the time?) money makes people do really really stupid (or bad) things. The irony in that story? Most of the people don't even realize that they follow the money in their daily life!

I see everyday most of us spending our time, our energy, our brain, ressources for... companies, institutions that kill the planet, kill animals, create poverty and the list goes on. Nevertheless I dare to assume that most of us aren't bad people, we aren't evil (I hope). So why the hell do we spend most of our lives to create such bad outcomes?

One word I guess: money!

Chris Langan in Outliers (I recommend) talks like this: "Harvard is basically a glorified corporation, operating with a profit incentive. That's what makes it tick. It has an endowment in the billions of dollars. The people running it are not necessarily searching for truth and knowledge. They want to be big shots, and when you accept a paycheck from these people, it is going to come down to what you want to do and what you feel is right versus what the man says you can do to receive another paycheck. When you're there, they got a thumb right on you. They are out to make sure you don't step out of line.".

Yep the example is not even about a bank, an oil corporation or a big food company; nope it's even about one of the most popular university in the world. Still, money buys most of us!

What exactly lead human peeps to massacre?

"Yeah, this is how to kill God
Holocaust, Crusades, Zionism, Jihad
Yeah, this is how to kill God
Racism, sexism, every ism is a schism"
- Apollo Brown & Ras Kass, "How To Kill God"

For a week I can't think about anything else: why, what, how some peeps around us are lead to kill some others? I'm not talking about the instant-brutal-animal-survival-mode-kinda-gut killing; I'm talking about the one you think in advance, the one you plan, the one you meticulously execute because you're victim is only this or that (put anything here like skin color, religion, nationality, family...).

© Banksy

Is it the fear of the other only? the misery (not only financial but also intellectual, psychological, physical you name it)? I realized this week that a big majority of fanatic killers (no matter under which fanaticism they lie) are become fanatics (ie they weren't initially). They have been trained to, indoctrinated. Why? How has been there any empty space in their mind to get infected? Worse: how to be sure that we'll never be such a victim, how? Education? Happiness? What if people could be immune to such a tragedy?

I'd love to hear read talk about create such a debate. In fact I'm sure we should manage a massive one, this is our duty, our citizen duty. If we wanna leave in peace, leave free in a democracy, in the secularism, we must ask identify and understand how to never ever fall into any -ism.