As fas I remember I've been attracted by the whole co-living idea. First I grew up in a family of 6, then, during my studies, I lived in a flat of 4 right next to the campus -i.e. we hosted many parties and gatherings- and I continued to share flats in the beginning of my adult life. Like there were 5 of us in our incredible rooftop -probably still one of the best flat I used to live so far- in Geylang, Singapore.
Of course at some point I ended up living just by myself with Mathilde, my other half. Even though, thanks to our decade-long partnership with Max at work, we've always had interesting set-ups where he'd live in his own flat but on the same floor, or in the building across the street or -like these days- 15min. from us by walking.
So we've contemplated the idea of co-living for a long time. And we've talked about it to many friends. Some of them seemed really into it too but we never agreed on the geography. I think we've fallen into the trap of 'let's make a lifelong decision right now and make it perfect'. Which was too much to handle for everyone involved.
This summer, I went to a nice space in SF named Founders, Inc. -in a quite amazing spot in the city by the way: Fort Mason; with a very 'San-Franciscan' view- listen to a live discussion between Ryan Hoover and Furqan.
Something Ryan said stuck with me since then: 'adjacent 2nd order impact'. As a non-human bot gently detailed it for us: "Second-order effects, also known as second-order consequences, refer to the indirect or ripple effects that occur as a result of an action or decision, which may not be immediately apparent. While first-order effects are the direct outcomes of an action, second-order effects are the subsequent changes that result from those initial outcomes.".
My mind started to wonder constantly about possible second-order effects around us. Two topics close to hearts -for obvious reasons- are: kids [I'm a father after all] and urbanism [I've lived all my life in urban areas and I'm a skateboarder, so my natural 'playground' are the streets]. Meanwhile, I was living this summer a kinda perfect suburban life in Berkeley, CA. Here are some behind-the-scenes pics and details by Mathilde if curious.
So when Steyn published his view on screen time limit -tl;dr: they've never enforced screen time limits on their kids [now 5 and 3 yo]- and then shared it on the #parent-lounge channel from the Sublime slack [oof] it occurred to me: kids screen time might just be an urbanism problem.
Do I want my kids to be hurt? Of course no. Do I want them to be constantly afraid of everything in life and paralysed in face of every challenge? Hell no. We -society- have a problem in the way we let kids learn and experience life. As usual the challenge lies in finding the right balance. Every time I talk to my grand-ma it's like she's sure 'outside' is utterly dangerous. Worst, she's certain it's more hostile than during her youth. Unfortunately this feeling is widespread. But the victims are the kids. We don't let them roam outside and explore. What do we do instead? Give them a screen and off to the couch, which is way more tragic.
I don't have any solution, yet, except letting my own kids take risks. Every time we do this with Mathilde, we can feel the 'pressure' from others, parents and whatnot. So I wanted to present here a collection of personal anecdotes, as well as great pieces of writing and excerpts from other people.
I think I'll come back to this topic quite often here. Kids are the future. Period. The way we raise them has a profound impact on tomorrow's society.
I spent last week in Zermatt with the kids, Mathilde and some friends. I'm lucky enough a close school friend of mine has a flat over there. This little swiss town is amazingly beautiful. Constantly dominated by the Matterhorn.
I spent last week on the French Riviera, in the south of France. We were constantly contemplating the Massif de l'Esterel, and its quite special red color. Saying that the whole place could look like one of the most beautiful on Earth would be an understatement. And yet, while it could truly be a paradise, we ruined it. We let cars ruin it entirely.
To stay on that urbanism theme and following yeserday's post Urban planning and the war on cars let's look briefly at Tallinn's example [Estonia's capital city - more about the city itself here - population being around half a million people].
I settled in Lyon, France 2 years ago. I came from Lisbon, Portugal where I spent 3 years in total and both my kids are born. People are usually surprised when they ask us why did we leave such a nice place [Lisbon is outstandingly beautiful] and I tell them: urban planning might be the worst I've seen since I walked around Jakarta, Indonesia.